Never Grow Up
by aliciadouglas
Summary: First song-fic, Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift. Renesmee is growing up much faster then Bella would like. Bella's thoughts as Nessie grows from a little girl to a young woman in a few short years.


I wrote this a while ago, so it's not my best writing ever. but I really love the emotion in it. I've never done a Bella/Nessie fanfic before, so it's an intresting, new veiw of things. Anyway, hope you like it!

* * *

**_Your little hands wrapped around my finger_**

**_And it's so quiet in the world tonight_**

**_Your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreaming_**

**_So I tuck you in, turn on your favourite night light_**

I gently place Renesmee down in her crib at the cottage, carefully pry her hand from my finger, and kiss her cheek. I mean to turn and leave, but before I do, I crouch down and peer through the bars of her crib. Her even breath flutters a lock of hair by her face; her lips form a perfect_ O. _Her face looks so peaceful, so content, in her little dream world. I watch her for longer then I intend to, fascinated by everything she does in her sleep - the time when everyone lets their guard down - from the shadow her eye lashes cast on her cheeks, to the creamy peach of her skin in the light coming from the open door. She's curled up, one arm wrapped around her legs, her head resting on the other. I understand how Edward use to watch me sleep night after night. Its an amazing way to see someone.

**_To you, everything's funny_**

**_You got nothing to regret_**

**_I'd give all I have, honey_**

_**If you could stay like that**___

She's only three months, but she looks three years. She is the smartest, happiest, cutest, little girl I've ever known. Every smile she gives is magical. Every giggle is such a warm sound. I've never been around someone so full of life and joy.

**_Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up_**

**_Just stay this little_**

**_Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up_**

**_It could stay this simple  
_**  
I protect her from everything I can, from every harm and danger, but the real problem is her speeding age. We still have not figured out what will happen when she's older, when she stops aging. There's nothing to go on and no one to talk to about this for sure. For all we know, she's the only one of her kind. And so, we can't know what her future will be.

**_I won't let nobody hurt you_**

**_Won't let no one break your heart_**

**_No, no one will desert you_**

_**Just try to never grow up, never grow up**__  
_  
But isn't that every parents saddest moments? Realize their child is growing up before their eyes? Its just that mine is a little faster, and her fate uncertain. Though when you really think about it, who's is? No parent knows what's in their childs future.

I slowly get up, plug in the little night light that's shaped like a moon, and leave her in her quiet sleep.

**_You're in the car on the way to the movies_**

_**And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off.**__  
_  
Three years later:  
I look in the rear-view mirror at Nessie, who pouts angrily, not looking my way once through out the entire car ride.

Its her first real _date_ with Jacob, and though he offered to pick her up and drive her to the movies, I wanted to.

Nessie is not happy about it though, claiming that I'm embarrassing her and that she'd be perfectly fine on her own or with Jacob.

And I know she would be, Jacob wouldn't let anything happen to her, and Nessie is smart enough to take care of her self. But I want to protect her still.

"Can you just pull over here? I think I can walk across a parking lot my self." Nessie begs from the back seat.

I sigh, and pull over. Jacob is standing in front of the doors, waiting for her. I turn around in my seat.

"Have fun." I say half-heartedly.

She rolls her eyes and huffs, opening the door.

**_At 14, there's just so much you can't do_**

**_And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots._**

I watch her walk across the rain wet parking lot. Jacob opens his arms for her and she steps into them.

With my sensitive hearing I can hear what they say, though I know its wrong to eavesdrop, I do. "Hey." Nessie says, a little bit of frustration in her voice.

"What's up with you?" Jacob asks her as they look at the list of movies.

"My mom is _so _overprotective."

"She just cares about you." Jacob defends me, I smile a little, glad that he's on my side.

"Yeah whatever, I can't _wait _until I'm to old for her to boss around."

**_But don't make her drop you off around the block_**

**_Remember that she's getting older, too.  
_**  
I drive home, staring out the windshield at the cloudy sky. In what seems like no time at all, Renesmee has gone from the little girl that put on fashion shows in our living room and once painted Emmett's nails pink; to a beautiful, sometimes moody, teenager.

**_And don't lose the way that you dance around_**

**_In your PJs getting ready for school_**

**_Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up_**

**_Just stay this little_**

**_Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up_**

**_It could stay this simple_**

I know that she'll only be mine for a little while longer, so for now, I continue to do everything I can to make sure she's safe. Edward reminds me that I have to back off, give her space to learn from mistakes, as hard as it might be. But I'm always there to pick up the pieces when she gets hurt.

**_No one's ever burned you_**

**_Nothing's ever left you scarred_**

**_And even though you want to_**

**_Just try to never grow up_**

**_Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room_**

**_Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home_**

**_Remember the footsteps, remember the words said_**

**_And all your little brother's favourite songs  
_**  
I just hope that she knows as well, that this won't last forever. That she will grow up and out. I hope that she makes memories and regrets nothing. That she makes every second count.

**_I just realized everything I have_**

_**Is someday gonna be gone**__  
_  
Because someday, nothing will be the same and she won't be a kid anymore.

**_So here I am in my new apartment_**

_**In a big city, they just dropped me off**__  
_  
Two years later:  
"Are you sure you'll be alright honey?" I ask.

Nessie chuckles. "Yes mom, I'll be perfectly fine."

I feel like I'd be crying right now if that were possible. My baby will no longer be living with me. Today we helped her settle into her and Jakes new apartment in seattle.

Jacob comes to the doorway where we stand and places a hand on Renesmees shoulder.

"Don't worry Bells, I'll take care of her." He promises.

I try to smile at him, but its a feeble attempt.

"Okay." I say quietly, taking an unneeded breath to calm my self. "Call us if you need anything. At all. And call us as soon as you wake-"

"Mom, mom." She cuts me off "I will. It'll be great mom."

I take in a shaky breath as she comes to hug me one last time before we leave.

**_It's so much colder than I thought it would be_**

_**So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on**__  
_  
The door of her apartment has just shut behind us when I remember the piece of home I brought for her to have. I whip around, wondering if I should go back.

"Bella, she's right, she'll be fine." Edward says quietly.

"I know, I just forgot to give her something."

I race back to her door and knock. In only a second it opens and Renesmee stands in tears on the other side. I wrap her in my arms and hold her for a long time.

"I'm going to miss you mom." She whispers.

"I'll miss you to."

She cries on my shoulder for a few more minutes then pulls away. "Sorry, you came back for something?"

I take out the little night light from her room at the cottage, and press it into her hand.

"You couldn't sleep without it when you were younger."

More tears are pooling in her eyes now. "Thanks mom."

**_Wish I'd never grown up_**

_**I wish I'd never grown up**__  
_  
Carlisle drives the car, with Esme in the passenger seat beside him, so Edward and I can have the back to ourselves.

I rest my head on his arm and hold back tearless sobs.

How empty the house will feel now, with out her and Jake constantly there. I imagine going home to the cottage, and going into her empty bedroom where I watched her sleep all those years ago, looking out the window where she use to try to grow flowers -they would always be dead by the end of the week. Going to the little garden with the tiny pool, where she would watch the tadpoles grow in the spring. Everything in the house holds a memory of her, and that's sad, because their only memories, only in the past.

**_Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up_**

**_Could still be little_**

**_Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up_**

**_It could still be simple_**

**_Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up_**

**_Just stay this little_**

**_Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up_**

_**It could stay this simple**___

Someday, she'll be living with us again though. When we move to a new town, she'll come with us, and so will Jacob. But for now, she'll be alone with Jacob, happy in her new home. I already feel lonely.

**_Won't let nobody hurt you_**

**_Won't let no one break your heart_**

**_And even through to you want to_**

**_Please try to never grow up_**

**_Don't you ever grow up_**

_**(Never grow up)**__  
_  
I wish she had never grown up.

**_Just never grow up._**

* * *

So, tell me what you think in the comments! Should I do more song-fics?

Thanks for reading!


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